


Four Times Jim and Blair Had Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Vacations and One Time They Didn't

by Ceares



Category: Leverage, The Sentinel
Genre: 5 Things, Crossover, Gen, auction fic, mea culpa, so so late
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-30
Updated: 2014-07-30
Packaged: 2018-02-11 01:12:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2047494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceares/pseuds/Ceares
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a reason Simon won't let them go on vacation without back-up</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Times Jim and Blair Had Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Vacations and One Time They Didn't

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fic won in the ASPCA auction from a year and a half ago and for reasons that don't need exploring at this juncture, took me forever to get done. I'm so, so sorry to the recipient and I wish it could be epic to justify the time it took.

1.

Blair shivered, pulling his jacket tighter. He glared up at the sky, which resulted in ice cold raindrops battering his face like tiny slaps -- yep, cold and wet was his world. He’d give anything for his hunter's cap right now, no matter how funny Jim found it. Of course the cap was in their stolen SUV, along with the rest of their belongings. He picked up his pace to catch up to Jim. 

“This is the reason Simon doesn’t want us to come on vacation alone, man.” 

“Oh like it’s any better when Simon comes along. He’s as big a trouble magnet as you, Chief.” 

“Me!” The flush of anger actually warmed him up a little bit. He pointed at Jim. “This is totally not my fault!”

Jim glared back. “Yeah? Who just had to stop for the pretty girl on the side of the road?”

“That was common courtesy.” Okay so she was _really_ hot and Blair might have noticed long legs wrapped in tight jeans first, but Naomi Sandburg’s son would never leave someone stranded on the side of the road, no matter what they looked like. Besides, “You’re the one who got all suspicious, oh Blessed Protector, and started questioning her.” 

At which point she pulled a gun on them, just in time for the rest of the crew of rustlers to show up and decide the best way to make sure they weren’t followed was to make off with all the transportation, and leave Jim and Blair on the side of the road. They had waited until the area was clear and started walking the five miles to Clinton. 

Jim smirked. “And I was right.” 

Blair frowned, shaking his head and flinging water like a dog. “Right isn’t getting us warm, like anytime soon.” And it’s not like Blair isn’t grateful that the gang decided stealing cattle and cars was one thing and murder was another, but after miles in the wet and cold, that gratitude was shivering in the corner while pissed off and miserable took over the load. 

“Nope, but that is.” 

Blair looked in the direction Jim was pointing and saw trees, trees and well, trees. “Seriously? Not all of us have a mile long line of sight, Jim.” He knew he was being grumpy but he’d been looking forward to a nice, relaxing weekend -- snug cabin(loaned by Stephen), roaring fire, fishing, and some Sentinel/Guide bonding time -- including meditation, no matter how much Jim bitched. 

The last few months had been crazy at the station and they needed to recharge. Even Simon had agreed, reluctantly giving them the weekend off, even though he wasn’t able to get away to join them. He hated the idea of them going alone, but since Megan went home, there wasn’t anybody else that knew their secret and spending the weekend hiding was not conducive to a happy, healthy Sentinel.

“There’s a house about five hundred yards back.” 

Blair thrust his fist in the air. “Yes!” Even if it was unoccupied, they could at least get in out of the weather before hypothermia set in. He was pretty sure the owners would forgive a little B&E for an emergency.

Jim slapped him on the back, “Come on, the quicker we get there, the quicker we can get this reported and get warm and dry.” 

Blair shook his head. Priorities, man. “Or get warm and dry and get this reported.” 

They were maybe halfway there when Jim froze and threw out a hand, grabbing Blair’s arm. Years of being Jim’s Guide and partner had him stopping instantly, while Jim tilted his head, eyes closed. He was completely silent until Jim pulled his hearing back out of ‘listening mode’. 

“What’s up?”

“I thought I heard a scream. Now it’s just, I don’t know, breathing.” 

“So somebody could be hurt or have just stubbed their toe.” 

Jim rolled his eyes at that. “Yeah.” 

“Well, at least we know there’s somebody home.” Even while they were snarking at each other, they were moving with familiarity, getting back in motion, picking up the pace to a fast jog and Blair reveled in the certainty that whatever was going on, he and Jim could handle it together. 

*********

Except that.  He definitely did not want to handle what they found when they got to the house, which was a very pregnant,  Louise -- call me Lou -- Henson, all alone and in the middle of labor.

By the time the  doctor made it there, mother and baby were tucked in tight and Blair was quite ready to get back to Cascade and the dangerous criminals that all seemed to want their heads on a platter. Frankly, he found it less frightening. 

 

2.

Technically they made it out of the city limits, though Jim could still see the sign in the distance, with regular, not Sentinel sight.  Of course the people in the convenience store currently being robbed weren’t going to quibble over whose jurisdiction it was to deal with the robber slash hostage takers. Okay, well maybe Blair would but Jim had long since realized Blair was a special case. Besides, he’d been taken hostage so often it was old hat to him now. 

Nearly three tense hours later, the robbers walked out of the store, hands high in the air. After that, it was another hour arguing over that very jurisdiction thing that hadn’t mattered so much in the middle of things. The sheriff didn’t particularly care that Blair hadn’t been acting in any official capacity when he talked the bad guys into giving up, all he saw was a Cascade PD officer being hailed as a hero and his department left out in the cold. 

His attitude necessitated _another_ hour of conciliatory phone calls from Simon(complete with warnings of how the Mayor would take them starting a ‘war’ with a neighboring city’s police force.) and  ego stroking from Blair. The man was grinning and inviting them down for the Friday night department dart game by the time they climbed into their truck. 

They looked at each other, and Blair sighed, banging his head against the back of the seat even as Jim turned the truck around and headed back into Cascade. He pulled out his phone, dialing a familiar number. 

There was a loud sigh over the line. “You’re not going to make it, are you?”

“We’re so sorry, Stace, you know we wanted to be there.” 

“Just tell me both of you are okay at least.” 

“Yeah, we’re good, and I slipped your graduation present in the mail, just in case.” 

“I still want to see you guys soon.”

“Definitely.” 

“Next time though, I’m coming to you.”

 

 

3\. 

“Okay,  there’s no way Simon can blame this on us coming alone. We don’t control Mother Nature.” 

Jim stared at the ceiling a second, eyes narrowed, then shifted the bucket slightly to the left, nodding in satisfaction when the water drop hit dead center. “I don’t know, Chief, it _was_ your idea to come to Texas to visit your cousin.” 

“Yeah, but they said rain, man, not the storm of the century.” Blair draped another of the hotel provided garbage bags over their belongings and sighed, looking out the window at the torrential rain. They’d barely gotten checked in when it started and it had been going strong for hours now. His cousin Wade was flooded in and the hotel parking lot and drive had rapidly filled with water so there was no going anywhere unless they grew flippers and gills. 

“It could be worse.” 

Jim held up a hand. “Don’t say it.” Just as the power went out. Fortunately is quickly popped back on, which didn’t stop Jim from glaring at him. 

Blair couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head. After a moment, Jim’s grin matched his. “What? I didn’t even say it.” 

“You thought it, oh Shaman of the great city, apparently that’s enough.” 

“If it was enough, we’d be basking in sunshine and cutting into a thick, juicy steak right now.” His stomach growled and he sighed and grabbed one of the apples the hotel had provided, biting into it. It had been fruit or oatmeal, all the beleaguered hotel staff had on hand to feed guests trapped with no access to outside meals. 

The TV. and wifi worked just fine, providing them with plenty of information that the rain wouldn’t be letting up anytime soon and they made their way down to the lobby where a group of guests were standing outside the exit doors, watching the few foolhardy drivers attempt, and fail, to make it through the standing water. Blair was sure he saw money exchange hands at least once as another SUV went barreling by, only to stall out next to the two already abandoned. 

Blair was just about to suggest going back up to their room and trying to find a game or something when Jim squinted out into the gloom and then took off, out the door and into the deluge. Blair followed as usual, wincing as he hit the cold water which quickly rose to his waist.  He caught up to Jim in a minute since his partner was supporting two people, an arm looped around each as they struggled up the drive. 

Blair relieved Jim of the tiny Indian woman who clung limply to him as they made their way back into the hotel where the clerk was already waiting with towels. The couple was immensely grateful since they’d been trapped in their car and even after they finally made it out, weren’t sure they had the strength to make it through the water. 

Blair was stripping down to his tee-shirt even before Jim met his eyes and then they were on their way back out, Jim’s sight and hearing helping them safely navigate the deepest areas as they searched for other people in need. 

By the time the rain slacked off enough for the streets to drain it was after midnight. The hotel lobby looked like a mini refugee camp, Blair ached in places he didn’t even have and if he never saw rain again he’d die happy. He swore next vacation, they were going to the Mojave desert. 

4.

 

“Really, you pick Portland?” Blair looked up at the gray sky and rolled his eyes. 

Jim just shrugged. He lived in Washington for a reason. He could have gone anywhere after he left the service but he came home because he actually liked it there, even if Blair was always whining that vitamin D deficiency was the reason Jim was so grumpy. “Good fishing, good food. Lots of organic products, Chief, I don’t see why you’re complaining. The sun will come out tomorrow.” 

Blair tried to groan and laugh at the same time. “Oh man, you did not go there. Fine, at least Au Naturel is here.”

“Which one is that?” Jim didn’t even try to keep up with all the places Blair scored products for him. 

“The place Naomi got that soap she sent for your birthday?” 

“Oh, I really liked that one.” He and Naomi’s tentative truce continued apace and they both made the extra effort to play nice for Blair’s sake. That included him clearing out and giving her and Blair their own time when she came to visit and her sending them various Sentinel friendly products when they came her way. 

“Yeah, and they only sell locally. She promised to pick up some more on her next trip through here but this way we can lay in a supply and check out their other stuff too.” 

They were a block or so from where the restaurant when Jim heard a scrap and rattle and then a curse --something that sounded like ‘damn it! Hardison’ from the next alley up.  There was a sign that said Vargas Culinary Institute on the building they were passing and he held up a hand to stop Blair.  He gestured toward the alley and Blair nodded. 

Blair had his phone out, 911 queued up, as they edged around the corner. Jim knew he should be more careful but he didn’t want to get a unit out there for nothing and considering it was the middle of the morning, he  figured it was probably taggers or kids they could scare off. He couldn’t think of anything valuable enough in a cooking school to attract real trouble. 

He and Blair stepped around the corner and Jim would swear they hardly made a sound but the three people crouched at the door all froze simultaneously, then turned their heads to look at them. 

 

The woman stood up straight, then mouthed almost sub-vocally, “Cops.” 

The other two stood up then, flanking her and putting on the ‘we’re completely innocent, officer’ look that in Jim’s experience, always meant somebody was guilty of something. 

The guy giving Blair a run for his money in the hair department, squinted at Jim, then frowned. “Captain Ellison?” 

It had been nearly twenty years since Jim had claimed that title and the guy standing in front of him didn’t look old enough to have used it. “Do I know you?” 

The other guy and the girl’s stances subtly changed. Both looks turned to glares and Jim noticed they moved up to stand in front of ‘hairboy #2’ where before, he’d been in the protective stance. 

“No sir, but you’re one of the reasons I joined up.” 

If anything the glares got worse. The guy looked between the two of them and sighed. 

“Guys, if I was still sitting on my daddy’s porch sippin’ rye we wouldn’t be doing the thing.” 

The girl crossed her arms. “Still.” 

“Captain Ellison is one of the good guys, so chill.” 

“I appreciate the vote of confidence, but she’s right, we are cops, so do you mind telling me what you’re doing?” 

The three of them exchanged glances, reminding Jim of nothing so much as kids trying to decide what story was going to get them in the least amount of trouble. Beside him, Blair was studying them silently. Jim knew he was doing his own threat assessment. 

The one that recognized him was definitely the most threat physically, his stance that of a fighter. The tall kid with the intelligent, kind eyes reminded Jim of Blair when he'd first met him and the girl he couldn't get a fix on. Not that Jim was planning on it getting physical or escalating at all if he could help it.

“It’s Toby’s birthday and we were planning a surprise for him.” 

“And you thought breaking into the building would be better than getting a key?” 

The girl frowned. “Key? Why would we want that? That’s cheating.” 

“What she means is, asking for the key would have ruined the surprise.” 

Their heartbeats were steady, which didn’t mean they were telling the truth, it just meant if they were lying, they were very good at it. 

She crossed her arms. “Good guy or not, I don’t think we should answer any more of your questions." She looked them up and down, eyes narrowed. "This isn’t even your jurisdiction.”  

Jim was sure they couldn't know every policeman in Portland but it wasn't worth it to try and bluff. “I could always call locals.” 

“You could, but that would be embarrassing for all of us. Or you could come in and let Eliot fix lunch for you. The boy is bad ass in the kitchen.” 

“Eliot?”

He nodded. “This is Parker and that’s Hardison. And it’d be an honor if you’d join us, Sir.” 

He turned back to Parker and before Jim could protest, she had the door open and was inside. Jim sighed and he heard Blair snort softly as they followed the other two into the building. Jim was relieved to see there really were party decorations set up at least. 

After lunch of chicken parm that was admittedly fantastic,  people that were clearly party-goers started to trickle in.  Jim and Blair headed out, even though Eliot invited them to stay. 

“Thanks but we’re only here two days, and we want to do some sightseeing.” 

He nodded and shook Blair’s hand, then Jim’s. “It was a pleasure meeting you, sir. Enjoy Portland.” 

 

The rest of the day was quiet and uneventful. They found the store and Jim was happy to pick up a couple of things that went along with the soap. Blair got into a discussion about ingredients and processes with the owner and Jim had a feeling his Guide was planning on experimenting in the near future. 

Naomi had given them a list of ethically sourced restaurants that Blair was excited about and considering the amount of nachos and beer Jim planned on stuffing into his mouth at the game tomorrow, he didn’t even offer a token complaint. 

 

Jim knew things were going too well. They got one day, half a day if you counted travel time, of, well not exactly peace, not after running into Eliot, Parker and Hardison but at least pleasure, before their vacation curse struck again. 

He really wanted to be surprised when he reached out to steady the nun he’d bumped into, apology on his tongue, only to see the wide eyes and pursed lips of Parker as the habit tilted up. Unfortunately he wasn’t. 

“Let me guess, planning a Halloween party this time?”

“Halloween is a pagan holiday, my son.” Hardison strolled around the corner dressed as a priest, expression serious. 

Jim groaned, feeling the beginnings of a headache form. The well dressed man next to Parker looked between the four of them with a frown. 

Parker patted him on the arm. “We very much appreciate your dedication to the orphan’s fund, _Detective_ , but we’ll have to speak with you later about your donation.” 

The suited guy blanched and took a step back. Hardison stepped between the two groups, partially blocking their view of the man. “Sister Mary Clarence, can you  spare a little time for the detectives while I  take Mr. Haans back to the office?.” 

 

Parker walked quickly enough that talking was out of the question and they had to hurry to keep from losing her, and Jim was beginning to wonder if her plan was to lead them along until they actually did lose her, when they finally arrived at the brew pub Eliot had told them about yesterday. 

“Parker, what...” 

She held a finger to her lips, gesturing to the fairly crowded food area and beckoned them down stairs, pushing against a seemingly solid wall and revealing a security panel. She punched in a series of numbers too fast for Jim to read and the wall slid back. She gestured them inside the room. “Okay, here’s the thing. That guy is a really bad guy, and he hurt some people that didn’t deserve it.” 

“So what are you trying to get some kind of revenge? Parker, that’s not smart, if he’s a bad guy, you should get the police involved.” 

She gave him a sad look that should have warned him. “We’re really sorry about this, guys. And we promise, we’ll let the police handle it when we’re done.” 

Jim was second behind, still trying to figure out a way to talk them out of whatever it is they were planning when Parker stepped back and the door to the  room started to close. Both he and Blair lunged but they were too late. The door slammed shut, leaving them trapped. The previously dim light intensified until it was easy to see they were in some sort of safe room. 

“Son of a bitch!” Jim gave the room a brief once over but it appeared to open with a code and neither he nor Blair were equipped to try and hack what he had a feeling was a very sophisticated system. 

The room was well appointed at least, with a bed and a couple of sleeping bags, a nearly full sized refrigerator, stocked for some reason with an inordinate amount of orange soda and various other food supplies. 

Blair had already settled into the large chair tucked in one corner, expression resigned. He nodded toward the fridge. “At least we won’t miss lunch.” 

 

Two hours later, there was loud banging outside then the door slowly slid open. A dark haired man and woman stood there, expressions contrite. 

“Oh my goodness! Are you alright? Parker told us you accidentally got trapped in the safe room.”

Jim opened his mouth, but Blair rolled his eyes, punching Jim’s arm lightly. “Don’t bother man. The patented Ellison rant isn’t going to work here.”

Jim crossed his arms. “Where exactly is Parker and the rest of the Hole in the Wall gang?”

The man smirked. “They had to deliver a package to the police.” 

“Also, they were worried you might be angry with them.” The woman chimed in, blinking with wide eyes. Jim had to admit she pulled off innocent better than the others. Not that it would work with him. 

“Damn right! What game are you people playing?” 

“I can assure you, we’re not playing, Detective Ellison.” The man’s expression turned hard and the look in his eyes made Jim reevaluate the idea that these guys were amateurs. In fact, he wondered if they’d stumbled on some kind of undercover op. 

They walked into the restaurant and the woman walked behind the counter and pulled out a box that smelled of honey and cinnamon and a large, brightly colored envelope. It had a sad face drawn on it, with the word ‘sorry’ in a giant word bubble over it’s head. 

“They sent these along as an apology.”  She smiled slightly. “Parker decorated it.” 

Blair took both warily. He opened the envelope to reveal a stack of gift cards to various restaurants and shops. Finally he pulled out a white business card and his eyes widened, looking up. 

“You guys are with Leverage?”

She nodded. “Eliot said to let you know, if you ever need anything, call them.” She smiled and even her smile was slinky, there was really no other word for it. “You could do a lot worse than having them owe you a favor.” 

She turned around and slid her arm through the guys and they strolled off as if they hadn’t just becomes accessories after the fact. 

Blair was still looking thoughtfully down the street after them.

“Want to tell me what that was about?” 

“They helped out a friend of Naomi’s a while back. They really are good guys. And, we’re on vacation.” Blair’s expression was half pleading, half resolute. 

“Blair” 

Blair reached out and laid a hand on his arm. “Jim, trust me on this. They’re not Sentinels, but they protect the tribe too.” 

“It was still a lousy vacation, Chief.” 

“Come on, we got good food, and cleaned up on shopping.” 

“We were locked in a safe, plus we missed the game.” 

“Yeah well the Ducks creamed the Wolves anyway, so missing it was a good thing. At least give it a five.” 

 

They argued all the way to the airport about whether being kidnapped for a few hours -- and no there were no air quotes around that, Blair -- was enough ruin the whole weekend and if Simon really needed to know what had happened. Yes and still up in the air.  And no, baked goods, no matter how delicious, were going to make up for it. The cookies were good though, and they’d definitely had worse vacations. 

5.

Jim buys an extra lock for the door, just in case. They stock up on food like the apocalypse is coming -- they agreed no take out, because that’s just asking for trouble. They do enough laundry to last them because the laundry room counts as a red zone and Blair makes sure they have enough to stay sufficiently occupied and that’s not hard since there’s a ton of books, movies and magazines in their ‘for later’ pile anyway. He throws in a few exercises for them to work on but nothing heavy, at this point, Jim has a strong handle on his senses and Blair mostly just monitors him -- and maybe a few years ago that would have left him feeling useless but he and Jim are _partners_ and he earned his place a long time ago. 

They can’t bring themselves to turn off their phones but Simon is the only one that knows that they haven’t actually left town. As far as everybody else is concerned, they’re up in the mountains somewhere with no cell reception. Simon was pretty gleeful when he heard their plan. 

“Even the two of you can’t get into trouble holed up in your own condo.” He slapped them both on the back and even slipped a cigar into each of their pockets. “Don’t worry guys, dire emergency only, I swear.” 

They have a whole week. Well, actually they’ve got at least a month in the hole but they both agreed they’d go stir crazy if they took any longer than a week. 

The first night, Blair pulls out his cookbook and starts on a delicious but overly complicated recipe he got from Naomi that he’s been wanting to try. Jim is stretched out on the sofa, book in hand and last week’s playoff game queued up on the DVR. Their phones are in the key basket by the door and they glance at them periodically waiting for one to ring, but there's radio silence the whole night. 

After dinner they actually make it all the way through **Inception** , which they’d put off as too complex to pause and pick up later like they do most movies. They argue good naturedly after, debating theories that have no doubt been debated a thousand times over already and  
they go to be relaxed and pleasantly full in mind and body. 

The whole week goes like that. After a couple of days, they stop expecting that ‘dire emergency’ to come and let themselves relax and enjoy the first trouble free vacation they’ve had in, well Blair can’t remember. It seems like there’s always something and that’s something for him to explore later, whether Sentinels actually attract trouble to them.

For now, they sit on the balcony watching the sunset on their last day off, ice cold beers in hand. They’re recharged in a way they haven’t been in a long time, physically and mentally. Their friendship and the Sentinel/Guide connection both feel solid and whole, without the sharp edges that come from too many late nights and too many hard cases. Tomorrow they’ll be back in the thick of it and glad to be there, but here in these last moments, it’s just them outside the world. It’s not the future he ever imagined, even when he accepted the badge and certainly not the one Naomi ever wanted for him, but Blair knows he wouldn’t trade this life for anything.


End file.
